I
recently had the occasion to travel back to the
place of my roots – Cape Cod, Massachusetts
for a week in celebration of my son's wedding.
I have been living in Arizona now for over eleven
years, and this was my first trip back to the Cape
in over seven years. My visit was wonderful in
every respect, and I reconnected with family members
and several old friends and acquaintances, many
of whom I have not seen in fifteen or twenty years.
I
met several friends of my own kids – whom
last time I saw them were very small children,
and now standing before me are grown men and women...
a doctor, a lawyer, an entrepreneur, a beautiful
lady, etc. It's a bit of a shock and reality check.
The external changes are dramatic from the age
of say five to twenty-five. For adults, the changes
are more subtle, yet can be just as marked.
It's
interesting... I can't quite fully appreciate the
fact that I have changed and aged quite a bit too.
From doing some quick math on the date of birth
on my drivers license it would appear I"m
52 years old. Somehow, I just can't relate to that
number... I feel to myself like I've always felt.
I'm me. Jack. Yet, to one observing my life from
another viewpoint, I probably evidence a great
deal of change both internally and externally.
But I think to ourselves, these changes are transparent,
because we live with ourselves every day. We're
on the inside, looking out. But now that I look
at the wedding photos and see images of myself,
it is like I am looking at somebody else. Kinda
weird.
I
reunited with old family and extended family members
that I had not seen in a very long time and was
quite struck by the fact that some have changed
so much, and others apparently very little. Indeed,
some I did not recognize on first meeting at all! – that
is how much they're outside persona had changed.
They were like different people altogether. I saw
people whom I once was close friends with and shared
a common rapport or 'vibration' with, only to now
silently acknowledge that things are not the same
as they used to be. And I met with other old friends
that surprised me with how much the vibrational
interaction between us is the same as it always
had been, or better.
As
I met and talked to these people who all made up
a large portion of my life, I was filled with many
feelings, that are no so easy to define. It was
both a strange and wonderful experience, this seeing
the evidence of the passage of time written
into people's faces. As I would look into each
person's eyes, the details of various experiences
that we shared long ago would flood back into my
waking, conscious memory. So many memories, yet
they were all present in a single moment, as if
frozen in time forever.
As
I processed my unusual emotions during those days
I realized just how eternal life really is, and
how nothing ever is lost. Every experience we have
lives on for eternity, for it actually becomes
part of who we are. I'm very thankful for that.
Over
the years, we all change at different rates of
speed. Some age on the outside quicker than others.
Some mature on the inside radically, while others
very much are the exact same person they were long
ago. But I noticed, even in those that showed the
most external and internal changes, there remained
a core of 'who they are' that did not change at
all... a soul signature, if you will. This is the
thing I find most beautiful about people. We each
have a very unique imprint on the world.
I
think there is something for us to learn from the
passage of time... something important to
notice. I was struck very deeply with a kind of
wondrous nostalgia and awe at the nature
of life, of change... of growth and the very things
that make us unique, individual beings. I think
more than anything, I was struck with how precious it
is, this experience of being in our bodies, and
to take part in the magical play of life with all
of it's stories and drama, both the good times
and the difficult times.
The
mystics say life is but a dream and we are all
here for but a fleeting moment. Time, they say,
does not exist in the ultimate reality... it is
but a construct for consciousness to gain knowing
through experience. Perhaps.
I
conclude that the definition of life is simply
the present moment. I like things simple. Yet all
the present moments that came before (our past),
are also contributing to what this one is and who
we are in this instant... just as who we are right
now is contributing to who we will be tomorrow.
As each of us integrates the experiences of our
lives and modifies our intentions and actions in
the present, we direct the course of our lives.